March 31, 2020

Courage, Grief and sitting with your emotions

Grief has been part of my life it feels like forever.

I was not aware how much of a difference it can make on how you see life and people's needs for a long time. The more you observe and discuss with people, you can see what has forged you, why it's sometimes difficult to communicate how you feel and see the world.

I was talking with Amanda Leeks about courage, what it means for every one of us, how it's more about showing up despite of fear than showing up without fear.

That reminded me of that Instagram post I did 2 years ago, talking about me growing up in a circle of older people, dementia and grief. That cames from a competition Mark Leruste did to be a guest on his Unconventionalist podcast. It took courage to share my thoughts on this post, even more to actually do the podcast (yes I won the competition). I was excited about the opportunity, also scared of making a fool of myself. The line up of guests on his podcast is quite impressive and my imposter syndrome was screaming loudly at me.

Mark is so kind and a wonderful host, he made the experience so much easier than I thought it would be. I'm so very grateful for the opportunity. Here's the link to the episode if you want to hear what the gift of grief can be.

Grief is one of these things that really marks you.

How it happened, how much support you had when it happened, how you were able to sit with it and heal... or not.

All that will shape you in different ways. and if you never had to experience it (which is a surreal idea to me, but I did someone who never had a death in his closed circle in his life... he was past his forties then... ), it definitely is like a foreign country you can't imagine.

Grief is processing loss.

Grief is not just for mourning for someone who transitioned. It's for what you dreamed of that is now a crushed dream, it's for hopes that have been faded. It's a love that had to end. It's an identity you have to say goodbye to.

Because of the uncertainty, the complete shake-up of our habits, way of being, fears, loss of family members and friends, the canceling of many meaningful events... nowadays many people are feeling grief.

Here are a few resources for you if you are going through this. You are not alone, and we are all feeling all the feels. Sometimes going through contradictory ones on the same day. All normal, all valid.

Please be gentle with yourself.

Grief is often a fallow before a new birth.

I love the word fallow and everything it carries. It's part of what I keep in mind in my process and containers to go through life.

Grief makes us think about what is important. When we sit with it, we can hear what our heart craves, what matters.

Sitting with it is not easy. but sitting in stillness brings a dialog with ourselves. If you can do it, it's a beautiful encounter.

If you have had trauma, please search for someone who can guide and hold you through the process. Don't try this on your own.

Here's an article that may bring some light and hopes for what is being born now, through this fallow the World is in.

What if the Coronavirus is the Ultimate Pause & Reset Button? on Elephant Journal

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